When one or both of you begin to acknowledge that the sun is setting on your time together as partners or spouses, fear, anger, guilt, shame, grief and pain arise that can be harnessed towards harm or transformation.
If you are committed to minimizing suffering, honoring the love that has bonded you together as well as the gifts your relationship has offered, compassionate uncoupling is a path you can embark on together with the support of a coach, your friends, family and community.
Past injuries to the health of your relationship can be cleared and forgiven. Vows to one another blessed and released. Collaborating on clear and healthy boundaries to move forward into a new form of connection established. A formal announcement and uncoupling ceremony brings family and friends together to support you and each other in a rare opportunity to grieve together and embrace the new beginning.
If you are considering dissolving your commitment to each other, an uncoupling coach can hold you accountable to the skills and labor of compassionately crossing the bridge from partnership or marriage to a new form of uncoupled connection. I welcome you to this sacred collaboration that helps ensure you both heal and grow through your grief and loss.
Blended Family Concerns
Conflict Resolution Skill Building
Fidelity Agreements Released
Grief & Losses Honored
Intimacy & Vulnerability Limit Setting
Nervous System Regulation
Phases of Relationship Honored
Relationship Structure Reimagined
“In a nutshell, a breakup is nothing short of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have a complete spiritual awakening. One that catapults you to a whole new level of authenticity, compassion, wisdom, depth, and—dare I say it?—even joy."
Katherine Woodward Thomas: Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After
My approach to working with couples is trauma informed, somatic and attachment focused. Within the realm of uncoupling, I am grateful to the pioneering work of Katherine Woodward Thomas who coined the phrase "conscious uncoupling" and published a book that has opened a new paradigm of possibility.
As a couples therapist and coach, I have also studied with Sue Johnson, the Gottman Institute, Harville and Helen Hendricks, Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, Julia Colwell, Deb Dana, Beth Dennison, Esther Perel, Terry Real, Maureen Gallagher, the Embody Lab, HeartMath and many early and contemporary practitioners who have evolved inner child and parts work.
For more information about my path as a practitioner, visit my About page.
I collaborate with clients who are committed to establishing healthy repair habits with empathy, compassion and vulnerability. Our habit patterns are strong and resistance to change them can and will arise. We will address how to work with these obstacles in and out of session.
My expectation is that the uncoupling journey be honored with intention every week outside of session on your own and with each other. Attention will need to be given to forgiving past regrets and resentments, practicing new relational and nervous system regulation skills, establishing boundaries and limits, collaborating on closure and resolving conflicts with loving kindness.
Those who commit to dedicating quality time and attention to uncoupling with compassion outside of our sessions move forward with their intentions more lovingly, efficiently and effectively.
All Folks Are Welcome:
Folks of all ethnic, cultural, racial, faith, gender, sexual and relationship identities are welcome. Folks who are some shade of monogamous, some flavor of poly and on any part of the continuum from vanilla to kinky are welcome.
Investing in Your Wellness:
Receiving the support of a devoted, experienced and well trained couples coach requires an investment on your part. The biggest investment is your openness and willingness to grow beyond your current level of development. It also requires an energy exchange of a set fee for the time we share together. Check out, How We Begin, for current rates.
How We Begin:
Reach out to see if I have an opening. If I do, we will briefly assess if I am the best uncoupling coach for you, because you deserve that. If we both agree, the next step is an initial consultation. For more details about getting started, visit my page dedicated to taking this courageous step: How We Begin
Level of Care:
Note: This process is not a substitute for a spectrum of behavioral health care to meet the high acuity needs of one or both people who are actively suicidal, homicidal, have untreated substance abuse or addiction, active anorexia, are living in a domestic violence situation, have needed psychiatric hospitalization in the past year or who need a legal evaluation for disability, custody, or court-ordered treatment. My practice is not able to meet these needs but I can offer referrals.