Couples Therapy

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Developing the skills to attune and respond to you and your partner's feelings, needs and requests for connection is available to all who wish to learn and grow together. Past injuries to the health of your relationship can be resolved while regaining clarity in moving forward together (or apart) with compassion and commitment.  The obstacles in the way of a secure relationship are the path to what you seek.
 

Whether you are just beginning your journey together, ready and willing to co-create a loving relationship at new levels of intimacy and interdependence, or are considering dissolving your commitment to each other, couples therapy offers an opportunity to foster the skills necessary to build the partnership or marriage that you long for, or to uncouple with compassion and integrity.

Image by Jakob Owens

 

Growth Edges: 

 

Blended Family Concerns

Attachment Styles

Building & Sharing Resources

Career Transitions

Co-parenting 

Co-responsibilities 

Fidelity Agreements

Communication Styles
Conflict Resolution

Family of Origin 

Gender Identity

Grief & Loss

Interfaith, Intercultural & 

Interracial Diversity

Intimacy & Vulnerability
Love Languages

Life Cycle Transitions

Phases of Relationship

Separation and/or Divorce

Sexual & Erotic Intelligence

Relationship Structures

Trauma Integration

“Underneath all the distress, partners are asking each other:  Can I count on you?  Are you there for me?  Will you respond to me when I need, when I call? Do I matter to you? Am I valued and accepted by you? Do you need me, do you rely on me?”  Dr. Sue Johnson

In our work together, we can focus on a spectrum of challenges and skills:

​⋆ Soothing & directing the energy and wisdom of powerful emotions in the service of your growth and the intimacy within your relationship.

⋆ Cultivating and strengthening the secure base of healthy attachment within and between you.

 ​Enhancing executive functioning as a couple - skills which include organization, focus, time management, delayed gratification, impulse control and problem solving.

 ​Honoring and integrating grief and loss which deepens intimacy and allows you both to reenter the fullness of your life as individuals and a couple.​
 Replacing addictive and compulsive distractions from your relationship distress with healthy conflict resolution skills, intimacy and interdependence.

 Healing the pain of broken agreements and vows. Renegotiating agreements and rebuilding trust.​​

 Navigating powerful life transitions together with greater ease and confidence.

 ​Learning to address and soothe your partner's distress without abandoning your own legitimate needs.​​⋆ Clarifying your unique sexuality, gender and relationship structures and harnessing this life force energy for the sacred purpose of conscious union and creativity.

 Supporting one another's purposeful path with joy and co-creativity. ​
 

My Approach:

My approach to working with couples is trauma informed and attachment focused. I have studied with Sue Johnson, the Gottman Institute, Harville and Helen Hendricks, Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, Julia Colwell, Deb Dana, Beth Dennison, Esther Perel, Terry Real, Maureen Gallagher, the Embody Lab, HeartMath and many early and contemporary practitioners who have evolved inner child and parts work.

 

All Couples Are Welcome:

Interracial, interfaith, multicultural and LBGTQ couples are welcome. Couples who are some shade of monogamous or some flavor of polyamorous are welcome.  Couples who are vanilla or kinky are welcome. All couples are welcome.

Couple Showing Affection
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I collaborate with couples to establish healthy rupture/repair, empathy, intimacy, vulnerability, trust building and play practices.  Our habit patterns are strong and resistance to change them can and will arise.  We will address how to work with these obstacles in and out of session.  My request is that couples set aside quality time every week to cultivate a relationship home study practice: rebuilding emotional, physical and sexual intimacy, reconnecting through play, forgiving past regrets and resentments, practicing new relational skills to request needs and desires, and compassionately and efficiently resolve conflicts.  Couples that commit to dedicating quality time and attention to cultivating new skills outside of our sessions move forward with their therapeutic intentions quickly. 

Your Commitment:

Investing in Your Wellness:

​Receiving the support of a devoted, experienced and well trained therapist requires an investment on your part.  The biggest investment is your openness and willingness to grow beyond your current level of development as individuals and as a couple. It also requires an energy exchange of a set fee for the time we share together.  Check out How We Begin for current rates.
 

How We Begin:

Reach out to see if I have an opening.  If I do, we will briefly assess if I am the best practitioner for you, because you deserve that.   If we both agree, the next step is  an initial consultation.  For more details about getting started, visit How We Begin, a page dedicated to taking this courageous step.

Level of Care:

Note:  my practice can not meet the high acuity needs of couples where one or both people are actively suicidal, homicidal, have untreated substance abuse or addiction, active anorexia, are living in a domestic violence situation, have needed psychiatric hospitalization in the past year or who need a legal evaluation for disability, custody, or court-ordered treatment.